By faith the seed dies, so the flower can bloom. Each new bud is the realization of the seed of faith.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

It is funny but I am beginning to think my life is a word picture of the things that I am learning. I will think to myself I need more patience and then…BAM! I will be faced with a plethora of situations that require I make me use of patience or end me up in jail (I choose the prior 😉 ). Lately I have been praying for trust (I think you have all figured that out just by my last few posts), and guess what? One after another situations have come into my life that have been forcing me to trust or sink. It has been hard, but beautiful at the same time. Hard because I am not one to let go of the reigns, I like to be in control. I always have to know where I am going, how I am getting there, and what I will be doing when I arrive. The thing is (if I am honest) that even with all that info most times I am still not in control, life’s unpredictable like that. Lately God has been directing me, but with very little info. His direction is akin to the Korean language. What do I mean? In Korean if it’s implied you don’t have to say the extra words, so many times a complete sentence could be as simple as, “GO” which could mean: You go, I go, are you going, where are you going. etc. God has been saying that to me, “Go”, but forth coming with the details He is not. My need to be in control is making my desire to TRUST very hard to accomplish. Here’s what I am learning from this time, you can’t trust if you are unwilling to let go of the reigns. If you are unwilling to give up control. Trust requires vulnerability (which I dislike being), it requires that even if things aren’t going your way, you are still going to let the other person lead. Today during my time with God He reminded me (using pastor Bob). There is a purpose for LACK, FEAR, and HELPLESSNESS all the emotions I have been struggling with lately. Then He said to give Him the little bit of trust I have (Luke 9:13-17), He will bless it, break it, and multiply it.

“Then He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed them, and broke them, and kept giving them to the disciples to set before the people. And they all ate and were satisfied; and the broken pieces which they had left over were picked up, twelve baskets full” (Verses 16-17).

So what’s my plan of attack? Give God my trust so He can bless it, break it, and multiply it.