Tag Archives: Future

DAY 273 (2014)

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keep-calm-god-s-got-your-backUhmmm… today has been a day of whiny Lisa. I don’t mean to be this way, it is just that sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I made up the interview I missed last Wednesday due to the fact that my car decided it was time for a new battery (can’t fault it for that). I had, had negative feelings about the job since the moment I spoke to the recruiter a couple weeks prior. It just hit me as strange that she knew nothing about the job. Today would make the third attempt at this interview. The first was missed because the address to the company was misplaced (although the night prior I put it in my bag), when I tried calling the recruiter no answer. The second time was last Wednesday when the car battery died, but today, today I made it to the interview… and immediately realized why God had put that check in my heart and why the two times prior He had made it impossible to for me to make it. The job was not for me, what they wanted me to do was potentially dangerous for a single female. I left the interviewed grieved and a little down. Which is silly because I have a FINAL interview tomorrow for a really good company. Why was I grieved then? Because I was worried about what would happen if I didn’t find a job soon. Let me just preface this by saying my rent and bills are met for this month (God has provided), yet I am worried about what will happen next month. As I sat bemoaning my current lack of employment and my fear of the future God gently reminded me of my personal quiet time with Him yesterday. The message “Don’t worry about tomorrow, live in today”,  the scripture Matthew 6:34. I use the Jesus Calling devotional for my personal quiet time, and yesterday it had this to say, “I want you to live this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing all there is do. Don’t be distracted by future concerns. Leave them to Me! I am training you to keep your focus on My Presence in the present.”  We won’t always do it right. There will be days when we feel the pressure, there will be days we feel insecure, but fear not God is always there to remind us that He is has our back. So don’t fear the future, Leave it in God’s very capable hand. Live in the NOW!  It”s a lesson I am learning.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

Lesson: Live in today. Let God worry about tomorrow.

DAY 254 (2014)

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The fences of our past aren't meant to keep us out. No, sometimes they are saying...fight to get in. (Picture by Lisa R)

The fences of our past aren’t meant to keep us out. No, sometimes they are saying…fight to get in.
(Picture by Lisa R)

Looking back. Remembering. Today I had an interview. It was a phone interview and it lasted for about an hour. During the course of the interview the interviewer and I covered much ground, but the longest portion of our talk pertained to my past work experience. Questions such: “Name a time when you had to deal with an irate patient, how did you resolve the situation?”  In my working life I have had to deal with angry, irate, happy, sad and sometimes crazy patients. I have lots of stories, however, the moment the questions started coming my mind (which is normally full) went BLANK. 🙂 . I started a little mini panic on the inside. But God (I think I have said it before that is my favorite phrase in the Bible), reminded me of the verse He gave me in my morning devotion John 14:27. He reminded me that He had given me His peace, the peace that passes all understanding. I took a deep breath, thanked God for the reminder, and the stories came flooding in. I answered all her question with actual work examples. The interview ended, she thanked me for my time and told me I would have an answer in about a week. After hanging up I breathed a sigh of relief. I had given it my best and now it was in God’s hands. As I sat reflecting on the answers I had given, I realized something: we need to remember our past experiences. Why? Our past not only reminds us of how far we have come (or not come) it also helps to shape our future. That is part of the reason earlier today I posted my blog from a year ago. On that day I was thankful for new beginnings for new life, today I am thankful for a new journey, a new road to travel, and a possible new job. Some of us have painful past (trust me I know, I have had very dark days) and because of that we hide our past or feel ashamed of it. The problem is that once we start hiding we are always hiding, and we are never comfortable or secure enough to be who we really are. That is not what the past is meant to do. Our past whether beautiful or scary is meant to propel us forward, it is meant to be the stepping stone to something better. If our past is good then we have a good foundation on which to build. If our past is bad, then we have the opportunity to change our circumstance and fight for a brighter day. Never be ashamed of where you come from, but also don’t live there. Life is all about the growing forward and growing up. Today my past help me with my interview, it helped me crack open the door to my future.  Let your past do the same for you.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

Lesson: We all have a past and whether it be amazing or horrifying God wants to use it as a blessing for our future.

DAY 215 (2014)

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Be aware of where you have come from. But ALWAYS move forward. (Picture by Lisa R.)

Be aware of where you have come from. But ALWAYS move forward.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

This morning I woke worried about finances. Worried that God wouldn’t meet our needs, or that He would, but I wouldn’t be paying attention to His leaing and miss what He was saying. Then church started. Worship reminded me that. “There is no one greater, no one higher, no one like our God. There is none more able. Christ our savior great and glorious.” Then my Pastor started his sermon in Luke 16 (we are going verse by verse through the book of Luke), by letting us know today’s scriptures talks about MONEY and hell. Hahaha. God…JOKES. You would think then that this post would be about how God will provide for me and meet my needs (and in a sense it is), but that’s not what God laid on my heart as I listened to today’s message. No, today’s post will be about second chances. About God taking us out of our current situation to give us a chance to start again. There are many things in my life I wish I had done differently, things I wish I could rewind and do again, a do-over so to speak. Unfortunately life does not hand out do-overs. But that does not mean we can’t have a second chance. It does not mean that God can’t provide an opportunity for us to walk the line, the path He has created for us. As I sat in church this morning I went over in my mind all the things around me that have changed. Starting with my Church: our Pastor stepped down. It was devastating and heart breaking and for a moment I though, ‘Who could replace him?” But God, provided us with a Pastor. Pastor Doug, is right man for right now. Our church can breathe and we have been given a second chance a new opportunity to come to church for God and not for man. Second chance number one. My job. The center that I worked at started out with nine people (this includes doctor, nurses, and office staff). Yup nine…the originals. Right now of the nine only three remain. But in their absence there have been new office staff, new nurses, new doctors bringing with them a new perspective, change, and growth. Second chance number two. My life. Up to this point I have lived doing what was necessary. Necessary to take care of my family. Necessary to meet the bills and not live under a cardboard box. But all the while knowing I wasn’t really doing what I was meant to do. Then God literally one day just impressed on my heart that it was time to, GO. He gently started reminding me of my dreams, of what I had said I wanted to do for Him with my life. Then I asked myself this question, “Why hadn’t I done it? What stopped me?” My answer… Fear. Then God gave me Joshua 1:5-9. “Be strong and courageous do not be afraid or be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” So right now my house consists of more boxes than furniture. In less than two weeks I will be leaving my home, to start something new. Second chance number three.  This morning I woke up worried about finances. But God, showed me He was giving me a second chance.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

So what’s the plan? Second chance here I come!!!! 😀

DAY 204 (2014)

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God keeps his promises. ALWAYS. (Picture by Lisa R.)

God keeps his promises. ALWAYS.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

So I have been wanting to post for a while, but time restraints have not permitted me. I have been blessed and blown away at how God has been revealing Himself to me through this new journey. I have to admit at the onset, I kept thinking, “Clearly this is not God”. This belief (or lack thereof) had me pushing through me days as if nothing was going to change, however, everyday God would tug at me with precise randomness (yup, that’s what I wanted to say). Random people would come up and say things like, “When are you leaving?” “I think you can do better than this, be better than this.” But still I persisted in my, “This can’t be God” thought pattern. So God started closing doors, jobs that I had applied for and was more than qualified for would pass me by, people that held me in place started to leave, my comfort was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He slowly but purposely started removing every and anything that would anchor me to my current locale. The kicker came when I went to work one day, clocked in, went to sign into my computer only to find that I had been completely deleted from the system. It stung a little because it dawned on me that I could be so easily removed after so faithfully working and giving my best. It was at that point it dawned on me, I genuinely have nothing holding me back, but me. It was almost as if a light-bulb went off and I realized that I wanted to move forward, I wanted to chase my dreams, I wanted to walk the path that I was created to travel, and not just walk the road because it was in front of me (because it was there). In the past few days as I have started to finalize my time here God has provided a rainbow, an awesome cop, and words of encouragement. The rainbow literally covered my entire complex, my devotion that day was about how God always keeps His promises. When I saw the rainbow, it was almost as if He was saying, “I will do ALL that I have placed in your heart. I PROMISE”. Today on my way home from work I was stopped at a red light for what seemed like forever. The light in my direction was stuck on red, there was a glitch. There was a cop two cars in front of me, after a while he flipped on his light and pulled out of traffic. My first thought, “Man I wish I had that kind of power to skip out on traffic”. But the cop did NOT skip out, instead he parked his car at the fuse box and switched the light to green, so that we could all GO home. At that moment I literally heard God say to my heart, “GO, I have made all your lights GREEN” (goosebumps… pounding heart, you get the picture). As if green light cop wasn’t enough, today I received the most beautiful card from my co-workers, my second family and the words displayed there have me believing that ANYTHING is achievable. What’s my point? We don’t always know why God is leading us on the journey. We don’t know what tool He will use to get us to go. But when He says, “GO!” Just do it, you’ll be amazed at how able He is to get you where He wants you.

“Look, I am giving all this land to you! Go in and occupy it, for it is the land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and to all their descendants” (Deuteronomy 1:8).

So what’s the plan? GO! 🙂

DAY 126 (2014)

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In order for a new bud to bloom you must first cut off the old one.

In order for a new bud to bloom you must first cut off the old one.

I heard and interesting thing today about Hyacinths, a flowering pant that  bears vibrantly colored petals and has a sweet aroma. The person who I was talking with went on and on about the resilience of the flower and how it can even bloom in snow. But it is this statement that gave me pause, “The Hyacinths will only bear a new bud after the old one is cut off.” Mmmm, how very interesting… It is an excellent picture of life, of moving forward, of growth. Like the Hyacinth we too can only bloom again when we are willing to cut off what keeps us from growing. You can’t move forward holding on to the past. I have been slowly learning that in the past few months. I am in the process of preparing to move, and it has been scary because I will have to let go of a lot. Friends, job, environment all are things that I have grown accustomed to, all have played an important role (be it good or bad) in my development up till now. So the thought of letting it all go is bittersweet. Just thinking about it now makes me want to tear up. But today when I heard the statement about the Hyacinth I felt that still small voice that speaks to my soul say, “Look at the Hyacinth. See the vibrant colors, smell the sweet aroma and know in order for this to happen it has to be willing to let go of the past in order to embrace its future. You must do the same.”

Jesus said to him, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God'” (Luke 9:62).

So what’s the plan? Let go, move forward.

DAY 107 (2014)

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Every sunset says, "You get another chance tomorrow." (Photo by Lisa R.)

Every sunset says, “You get another chance tomorrow.”
(Photo by Lisa R.)

In keeping with my recurrent theme of realizing how fear has kept me from moving forward. I have recently started studying (seriously studying for my GRE). If I had a dollar for the amount of times I have had to answer the question, “When are you taking your GRE” in the last three months I’d be a millionaire. Each time I have answered the question I have added a month (so I’ll be taking my Graduate exam sometime in 2030). The overwhelming respond to my answer is, “Why are you waiting?” My answer to them, “I want to pass it the first time.” The real reason? FEAR. Because I really do want to pass it the first time and the thought that I may not be able to has me procrastinating. This realization came to me about the same time that I realized that God was not going to allow me to move forward until I had done the things He had told me to do, one of which was take the GRE. The irony is that I lost confidence in being able to pass when things started to feel like they were collapsing around me. Which is funny because, things started to collapse because I wasn’t doing what I suppose to do (yup my life is like a bad comedy routine). My point? If we just do what God says the moment He says it, life would be easier. I like easy.  What about you?

“If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14).

So what’s my plan? I am gonna study, study, study…

DAY 106 (2014)

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I have been reading my blog, from the beginning. Why? I have been feeling a little out of sorts lately, life has gotten a little difficult and it seems as though all the doors I am trying to walk through are being shut. This has me feeling scared and worried about my future and the future of my mother. Prior to today I have been more whiny than usually, because of my fear. Today as I read through my early writings I realized how much I have grown and how much I have changed. But I also realized that this time, this moment is a test. A way for me to see my heart, despite all that is happening could I still be faithful? Could I still trust and follow without question? There are days when I am on fire when wild horses couldn’t shake my faith. There are other days when a light breeze is all it would take to knock me over. On my days of faith my trust, ALL of it, is in God. On my days of  “lack” of faith, my trust is in me (and I don’t trust me). As I was perusing the words I had written I came across DAY 25 (written over a year ago). I was reminded that trust is a matter of letting go of the reigns, and just floating in the direction that God chooses.

DAY 25 (January 25, 2013):

He is the wind. We are the leaf. Let Him MOVE us.

He is the wind. We are the leaf. Let Him MOVE us. (Picture by Lisa R.)

 

Life lessons from a leaf. Today I watched this leaf just move in whatever direction the wind took it for about 20 minutes. At moments the guidance was very specific: to the left, to the right, up, or down. Other times the leaf stayed suspended in the air as the wind decided on a route to send it. Yet, other times the leaf stayed in the grass waiting to obey the direction of its journey’s leader. Then, I had this thought: “I am the leaf and God is the wind.” Do I follow Him with the same ease? Sadly the answer is, NO. Often times I have to be prodded and redirected while having my conscience pricked. However, my goal and dream is to be like this leaf…move without hesitation.

“Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me'” (John 21:22).

So what am I thankful for today? That following without knowing the destination is freeing.

DAY 103 (2014)

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Fear keeps us bound and chained.

Fear keeps us bound and chained.

I have been hearing this a lot lately: “Move forward”, “Walk”, “Take the step”. I have heard these phrases in different ways over and over again in the last month or so. I will walk past strangers having a conversation and I won’t hear anything, but the word “go”. This morning on the drive to church I was listening to the song, Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), in the midst of listening I heard this in my heart, “WALK”. The song is about letting go of our limitations and allowing God to take our feet to places we didn’t think we could go. Here’s my problem. That’s not the word I want to hear, no, I want to hear, “STAY”. Why? I am scared to move, scared to walk. Because what if I fall? What if I make a bigger mess than what I am currently in? Today in a conversation with the BF he said, “What if move forward means just that?” Let me explain, in my attempt to figure out what God wants me to do I have been searching for things that are about the same as what I am doing now. I have not been looking forward, I have been looking lateral or as my boyfriend says…sideways. It dawned on me that he was right. I didn’t even entertain the idea that the reason God wasn’t opening the doors (even though He’s telling me to walk through) was because I was not entering through the right ones. I know that God loves me. I believe that He will do what He says. But I am most times too afraid, too fearful to grab hold when He’s throwing me the life-vest. My prayer is that I will allow God to break the chains of fear that bind me. That I will move forward (not sideways) into what He has prepared for me.

The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).

So what’s my plan of attack? Allow God to break my fear chains and set me free to move forward to what He has for me.

DAY 70 (2014)

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We make our plans, but God directs our path. Let Him be your journey's guide. (Picture by Lisa R.)

We make our plans, but God directs our path. Let Him be your journey’s guide.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

I have been listening to God for something very specific. Something that He laid on my heart and told me to trust Him for. In the interim I have been trying every road that looked like it would get me closer to the promise. Oddly, as I have been doing my quiet time the Lord has been showing me the importance of not finding my own road, but waiting for Him to reveal the road I am to travel. I, however, have never been the immediately obedient type. No, I usually have to fail over, and over, and over again before logic kicks in. Wanna guess how “the following my own road”  has been going. Yup, you’re right…Not well. I am on vacation right now and during this time of “doing nothing”, God has been teaching me (oddly until today I didn’t even realize I was learning). Today I received an email that may or may not be the thing that changes my future from this point on. The point, we make the road harder when we hear God’s direction, but try to reach it on our own. It remains to be seen where this new road will take me… However, this time I won’t be achieving it in my own strength.

DAY 27 (2014)

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GraceI did something yesterday that was super hard to do. I told someone something they didn’t want to hear. Something that would change the relationship that we now have. I spent many days contemplating not opening my mouth; worried that I would hurt the person’s feeling. Before I chose the day to talk to my friend; I spent several days in prayer. Several days fasting. I gave the entire situation to God, I left it in His hands. Wanna know the outcome? SMOOTH… It was the easiest conversation I ever had. Why? Because God went before me and prepared the way. Today as I sat back and reflected on how well, something that I was so scared of doing turned out. I am blown away by the power of prayer. I am blown away by God’s ability to prepare a heart to hear something it did NOT want to hear. Here’s the biggest blessing. The person actually saw clearly what God was doing through what I had to say. In fact before I told them the why, they told it to me! I am learning on this new journey that doing life God’s way bears benefits that far outweigh any fears I could have. We all have things we don’t want to do, but have to anyway. Give it to God, let Him go before us and prepare the path. He is the clearer of obstacles and the author of peace.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28).

So what’s my plan of attack? Walking forward with God always before me (He’s got the map 😉 ).