Life is like the sun…it rises and sets.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

I have been thinking about this post for most of my day today. Ever since I got to work and received heartbreaking news. In order for this to make sense, here’s some background. We have a patient in our center that I have been praying for, for about 3 months now. I have lost sleep over her illness, because a part of me thinks it is unfair that she is so sick. I wish with all my heart I had magical powers that could make her whole again. However, I don’t. So in the stead of “super human powers”, I decided to take my petition to the One who made her, fashioned , and formed her.  I have begged and pleaded, asking God to heal her. The answer for three months was always continue to pray. So I did. Yesterday, after a time of prayer, I received a different answer. I felt a whisper in my heart that said I needed to let go, and that I needed to understand that healing means an end to the sickness and pain. I felt peace and so I let go of my burden. This morning, the first news I received as I walked through the door was that the patient had passed away (yesterday morning). It hurt (I won’t lie), I wanted her to live. I wanted God to heal her the way that I defined healing. But He healed her the way He chose to. Does this mean God doesn’t answer prayers? No. It means I have to accept the answer even when it’s no. I have to understand that just because I can’t make sense of something, that doesn’t make it senseless. Life is not fear, death even less so. I learned a lot about life and the worth of another human being from these three months of prayer. I will miss her smile and her gentle spirit. But I am happy that she no longer suffers.

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

So what am I thankful for today? Answered prayers, even when the answer isn’t what I wanted.