Tag Archives: brokenness

Apr10

DAY 100 (2014)

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What we cultivate is what we'll give to those around us. (Picture by Lisa R.)

What we cultivate is what we’ll give to those around us.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

Today I threw out my wallet. It had a hole in the change portion, which would leave a trail of coins behind me everywhere I went (riveting story, huh?). This trail would be useful only if I were say Hansel or Gretel (barring that no one stole the coins). I swear I have a point. The change compartment had been broken for a while, but I loved the wallet (it was ORANGE…favorite color) and just couldn’t seem to part with it. I estimate that over the past few months I must have lost at least twenty dollars in the form of dimes, nickles, and quarters. Today I needed a coin and opened the change portion only to find it empty. That was the last straw the wallet had to go! As I began to empty out the contents of my beloved orange wallet preparing it for burial. I had an epiphany. I HOLD on to broken things. I don’t try to fix or replace, nope…I hold on. This is not only true of my wallet, it’s true in certain areas of my life. God has given me tools necessary to heal and fix what’s broken, but instead of using the tools I more often find myself holding on to the brokenness instead. As I held the wallet in my hand, it felt as if God was saying, don’t let this be the only broken thing you let go of. I don’t think we realize how much we as humans do that, hold on to broken things: Hurt, anger, fear, sadness. I threw my old broken wallet away, and now I have a new one. One that holds my change and instead of losing my coins they will be able to grow and multiple (uhmm, if I don’t spend them that is 😉 ). The same is true in life, when we let go of the broken, the “whole” that is left will grow and multiply.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1).

So what’s my plan of attack? To let go and let God heal the broken.

Feb16

DAY 47 (2014)

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“A broken soul is not the absence of beauty, but a cracked and torn soul reeks of the sweet incense it contains.” ― C. Joy Bell

“A broken soul is not the absence of beauty, but a cracked and torn soul reeks of the sweet incense it contains.”
― C. Joy Bell

The past couple have months have been hard on me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. What I find odd is that the “hard” has also been very good. Sounds strange doesn’t it? Almost like an oxymoron. Here’s the reason: God has been breaking me. Taking out the unnecessary so that He can replace it with what IS necessary.  The process has been painful (especially since I don’t recall praying for it 😉 ), but the pain has been almost like rain on my soul. Washing away the muck and the grime and leaving in its stead good soil that God can plant in. During this process He has answered many questions that I have been praying about, and dealt with fears that I had push deep down (pretending they didn’t exist). The intensity of the the schooling has at times left me reeling and feeling ashamed of my initial response. But I see now even that was a part of the lesson. Working in the healthcare industry here is what I know: Don’t despise the breaking. If a bone is set improperly a “good” doctor will break it, and reset it (unheard of pain). Why? Because he knows if not dealt with now, later it will cause irreversible problems. So if like me, God is breaking things in your life. Let Him. Better to be broken now and heal. Than to walk with a limp forever.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

So what’s my plan of attack? Let God break. Let God heal.

Feb4

DAY 35

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“A broken soul is not the absence of beauty, but a cracked and torn soul reeks of the sweet incense it contains.” ― C. Joy Bell

“A broken soul is not the absence of beauty, but a cracked and torn soul reeks of the sweet incense it contains.”
― C. Joy Bell

Why do we hate being broken? I had this thought today. The world has taught us to be strong through mantras like: “never let them see you sweat” or “big boys don’t cry”. The irony is found in the fact that we gain strength from those moments of sweating and crying. Brokenness is not a disease, but a journey of growth.  Brokenness gifts us HUMANITY.

Therefore, we shouldn’t hide the broken parts of our lives. Instead we should use it to bring hope to others who need to know they are not journeying alone. The fragmented glass pieces of your life may very well become the mosaic that someone else needs to encounter. So share yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly. I guarantee someone else needs it.

So what am I thankful for today? I am thankful that my broken moments can be a light of hope to a hurting soul.