Category Archives: Pain

Jan10

Day 10 of Random (hopefully inspired) Thought. Today I Am Thankful For…Sorrow

Posted on January 10, 2026 by lsgrlr

Yesterday was a hard day for me, emotionally, to the point that I did not post on day 9. In 2024, my mom died suddenly, and even though it’s been almost two full years since her passing, the pain still feels like it happened yesterday. Yesterday was not a traumatic day by any means. Nothing that should have thrown me into the depths of pain and loss that I experienced; it was, from all accounts, a normal day, and as weird as this sounds, normal days are the hardest. Why? Because on normal days, I am more acutely aware that she’s not here. I can’t just walk into her room for a hug. She’s not here spontaneously singing at the top of her lungs, or saying words wrong and doubling down that her way is the correct way, and everyone else is wrong. On normal days, I simply miss her more.

There is no cut-off time for grief, and there is no proper way to handle it. We each experience it differently, and that’s how it’s meant to be. So, if you need to cry, cry, let grief wash over you, don’t run from it, don’t hide from it, and don’t ever say “I should be over this by now.” God promises to be close to us when our hearts are broken, when the pain we feel is so deep that there are no proper words to describe it.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18).

Here’s the truth, friends: grief is real, as are loss and pain; there is no getting away from them or pretending them away. So don’t hide or run from the hurt, let loss have its moment in your life, and the God who is acquainted with our sorrows will be by your side to walk you through the pain and pour out His love and peace and joy on you that no one and nothing will be able to take away. Just as He promised, “You have sorrow now, but I will give you joy again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” John 16:22.

So, what am I thankful for today? Sorrow that leads to joy.

Jan13

DAY 13 (2014)

Posted on January 13, 2015 by lsgrlr

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God is the DIRECTOR of my path.

So yesterday I found out I had pink eye. I had to laugh, because I associate that infection with children. On Saturday I woke up with my eye swollen, red, and itchy. But let me tell you about how God used it for good. The company I work for, for the first 6 months has a 100% dependability policy. What that means is no absences. I started in the winter, in Buffalo it snows every day (okay this may be a slight exaggeration), I come from Florida. See where I am going with this? On Sunday the swelling had not gone away, and on Monday when I woke up my eyes was pink, watery, and throbbing. I had a bad, bad case of pink eye. But what that earned was a day off with no negative repercussion, which was awesome because on Monday it literally (not an exaggeration) snowed ALL day. God had once again stepped in and taken care of my worry even before I had a chance to worry about it. Today I woke up with a little bit of swelling, but no pink, and no throbbing and today the road were clear. God truly went before me to clear my path. His grace blows me away every single day.

“But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard” (Isaiah 52:12).

So what am I thankful for today? Clear roads and a God that knows my needs before I even ask.

Nov13

Random (hopefully inspired) Thought

Posted on November 13, 2014 by lsgrlr

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I have hidden Thy word in my heart.
(Picture by Lisa R)

1 Samuel 28. “Now Samuel said to Saul, ‘Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?’ And Saul answered, ‘I am deeply distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God has departed from me and does not answer me anymore, neither by prophets nor by dreams. Therefore I have called you, that you may reveal to me what I should do.’ Then Samuel said: ‘So why do you ask me, seeing the Lord has departed from you and has become your enemy? And the Lord has done for Himself as He spoke by me. For the Lord has torn the kingdom out of your hand and given it to your neighbor, David.Because you did not obey the voice of the Lord nor execute His fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore the Lord has done this thing to you this day. Moreover the Lord will also deliver Israel with you into the hand of the Philistines. And tomorrow you and your sons will be with me. The Lord will also deliver the army of Israel into the hand of the Philistines'” (Verses 15-19). Sometimes it is just best not to know. I am sure this is what Saul was feeling after he heard the words of Samuel. It is amazing to me that Saul knew his sin, knew he was in the wrong, but still persisted on believing that if he could just get rid of David, everything would go back to normal. His way of thinking is so illogical and so backwards, but it reminds me of humanity, we do this all the time, choose the way that “seems right to a man” the way that in the end “leads to destruction”. All Saul had to do was repent, and accept the consequences for his actions. He would have lost hos kingdom, but he would have saved his life, his soul, and his sons. But his need to to win didn’t just cost him, but it cost everyone around him. Here is a truth, sin is destructive. It doesn’t stop at destroying the sinner, no it’s aim to to annihilate everything. Beware of your heart, repent, and accept God’s punishment. Don’t let your sin destroy everything.

Nov4

Random (hopefully inspired) Thought

Posted on November 4, 2014 by lsgrlr

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I have hidden Thy word in my heart.
(Picture by Lisa R)

1 Samuel 20. “As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. Then Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, May the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever.’ So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city” (Verses 40-42). I feel for David here, the bible said he wept more. His heart hurt more. Why? He was being betrayed by someone he loved and for no reason other than jealousy. The ironic thing is that Saul hated David, because he thrived, but David thrived only because he wanted to be pleasing to Saul. So Saul hated David’s sincerity toward him (that is the very definition of irony). Life can be like that. You do your best to be pleasing and people can and will dislike you for it. Why? The world has been jaded and sincerity is not something people understand anymore, so when presented with it many times they will act adversely. Here’s the kicker: Be sincere anyway. Despite the amount of times David had a javelin thrown at him, despite his many near misses with death at the hands of Saul. David was always sincere, always respectful, always treated Saul as king. Our reaction should NEVER be dependent on the action of another, none of that, “I did it because he/she did that”. If you know what is right, DO IT. It doesn’t matter what the other person did. He who knows what is good and doesn’t do it, to him it is sin (James 4:17). Always choose to do what is right.

Oct9

Random (hopefully inspired) Thought

Posted on October 9, 2014 by lsgrlr

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I have hidden Thy word in my heart.
(Picture by Lisa R)

Ruth 4. “So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.’ Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her bosom, and became a nurse to him. Also the neighbor women gave him a name, saying, ‘There is a son born to Naomi.’ And they called his name Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David” (Verses 13-17). When Naomi came back home after losing her husband and sons, she told those around her, not to call her Naomi, which means pleasant, instead they were to call her Mara, which means bitter. Why? She believed that God had dealt bitterly with her. However, now she is holding her grandchild and the great grandfather of king David. Life does not always run the course we think it should. When the lemons come, we don’t always see the lemonade. God had a plan, He was creating the path for His Son, the one who would save us from our sins, redeem us and bring us into right relationship with God. God did NOT deal with Naomi bitterly, that was just her perspective because she couldn’t see His plan, she was too focused on her situation. There are days it feels like God is dealing bitterly with us, we see only the lemon, but don’t see the lemonade. He has a plan, a purpose, a reason… Stay focused on HIM.

Oct5

Random (hopefully inspired) Thought

Posted on October 5, 2014 by lsgrlr

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I have hidden Thy word in my heart.
(Picture by Lisa R)

Ruth 1. “But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.’ When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her” (Verses 16-18). I have always loved the book of Ruth. It is the ultimate Cinderella story with a God twist. It dawned on me that this story may never had happened had Ruth chosen the easy way. Naomi gave both her daughter-in-laws the right to go back home. The freedom to break their pledge with her and return to their families, to find new husbands, to have a chance at a new life. At first both insisted on staying, but Naomi insisted and thus Orpah left. But Ruth clung. I love this because many times that’s all God wants, for us to cling. For His children to hold on to Him and see what He has for them. If you have read the story of Ruth, then you know the blessing that awaits her because she clung, because she held on, because she choose to keep the commitment she had made. I am not saying that Orpah wasn’t blessed. I am not even saying that she made the wrong choice. But there is no story in the bible about her. Ruth clung and her story has been told from generation to generation. Want to leave a legacy, a story worth being told for generations to come… then CLING. See what God has for you.

May20

DAY 140 (2014)

Posted on May 20, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Sometimes doing good yields, but results. At those times make sure your good and God's good are the same.

Sometimes doing good yields bad results. At those times make sure your good and God’s good are the same.

So I recently wrote about my return to the things that I once loved, one of the things I returned to…working out. Hahaha. I started with running. Then one day I heard my friend “double time” (aka. Cheryl, those who have been reading my blog for a while know why I call her double time… DAY 99 April 9 2013), started talking about palates. Sounded like fun (she could make having a tooth pulled sound like the greatest experience EVER). So on my none run days I added palates to my routine. Yesterday I had an epiphany. I could do it all in the same day! (Mmmm…yeah). So this morning I woke up at 5:45 am and did 45 minutes of pure palates. All day at work any movement that required my abs felt like someone was punching me in the gut. What should I do to make it go away? Oh, I know I’ll just run when I get home (clearly I am mad at myself). When I got home I changed and went running for 30 minutes (it was a gorgeous evening out), after my run I decided what’s a little ab workout gonna hurt. it would be the perfect way to finish up my day (can we say baaaad idea)… Right about now you’re thinking is this gonna lead to a point? It is I promise. What’s my point? Everything I did today was good for me. Palates, running, and the ab workout none of it was bad. None of it was wrong. However, right about now it hurts to breath (not an exaggeration). Here’s the lesson: just because something is good, does not mean it is right (or for that time). Some of my workout could have been saved for tomorrow (or another day), but in my desire to take care of myself, I took care of myself a little too well ;). There will be days when we do “good”, but get “bad” results. Does that mean don’t do good? No. Sometimes it just means it wasn’t time, or it wasn’t ours to do. So check your heart, check with God. Make sure the good you want to do is His will for you. The “how” and the “when” of good, it’s just as important. So do good, but make sure it’s God’s absolute good, and not just our personal desire. “Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness” (Psalm 37:3). So what’s the plan? Do God’s good.

Apr10

DAY 100 (2014)

Posted on April 10, 2014 by lsgrlr

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What we cultivate is what we’ll give to those around us.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

Today I threw out my wallet. It had a hole in the change portion, which would leave a trail of coins behind me everywhere I went (riveting story, huh?). This trail would be useful only if I were say Hansel or Gretel (barring that no one stole the coins). I swear I have a point. The change compartment had been broken for a while, but I loved the wallet (it was ORANGE…favorite color) and just couldn’t seem to part with it. I estimate that over the past few months I must have lost at least twenty dollars in the form of dimes, nickles, and quarters. Today I needed a coin and opened the change portion only to find it empty. That was the last straw the wallet had to go! As I began to empty out the contents of my beloved orange wallet preparing it for burial. I had an epiphany. I HOLD on to broken things. I don’t try to fix or replace, nope…I hold on. This is not only true of my wallet, it’s true in certain areas of my life. God has given me tools necessary to heal and fix what’s broken, but instead of using the tools I more often find myself holding on to the brokenness instead. As I held the wallet in my hand, it felt as if God was saying, don’t let this be the only broken thing you let go of. I don’t think we realize how much we as humans do that, hold on to broken things: Hurt, anger, fear, sadness. I threw my old broken wallet away, and now I have a new one. One that holds my change and instead of losing my coins they will be able to grow and multiple (uhmm, if I don’t spend them that is 😉 ). The same is true in life, when we let go of the broken, the “whole” that is left will grow and multiply.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1).

So what’s my plan of attack? To let go and let God heal the broken.

Mar18

DAY 77 (2014)

Posted on March 18, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Even in the trees of life block it's view. The light can still be seen. (Picture by Lisa R.)

Even when the trees of life block its view. The light can still be seen.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

This has been the month of learning. Learning humility. Learning to live like I believe that God doesn’t lie. For the record, NOT easy. I am realizing that faith, the real kind requires the abandonment of self sufficiency. That is not a easy feat for any person, even the most inapt and nonchalant of human beings wants (or needs) to feel like they are in control of their circumstances. However, faith requires that we allow God to be in control of our circumstances, even when it seems like everything is falling apart. In the last couple of weeks my belief system has been tested (hard). I felt cornered because I wanted to fix the issues in my way (you know the way where you hold on to your pride and pretend like nothing’s wrong). Turns out that “my” way escalated something that would have been preventable had I just done what God asked from the get go. The battle with our pride is often hard won, especially when we are working with a wrong definition. Most of us view pride as a puffed up arrogance. When in all honesty pride is anything that keeps us from being vulnerable, from being honest. That keeps us from being an open book to the people in our world, and believe it or not it is often masked in humility (the false kind). The mirror that’s shining on my life lately has been a hard one to look into. But I know that God wouldn’t be shining it so brightly if He didn’t have a purpose. It if wasn’t a necessary step to get me on the “right” path. So although it hurts I will continue to look in the mirror, so that I can clearly see what needs correcting.

“Remove the impurities from silver, and the sterling will be ready for the silversmith” (Proverbs 25:4).

So what’s my plan of attack? Let God do…

Mar2

DAY 61 (2014)

Posted on March 2, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Sometimes the journey requires pain. Don’t run.

It took over 24 hours to get here, but we have finally made it to Buffalo, NY. My first thought, “Good Lord it’s COLD.” Yup, it’s 1o degrees outside and that’s not the time. But in the same breath it is beautiful, there is snow on the ground and everything looks so crisp and clear. I still have something that is unsettled, and I as out-of-control as it makes me feel am determined to wait on God for the answer. The drive here has given me time to reflect and think. I realize that my MO is worry and fret and that my actions are usually something akin to “let’s see how I can make this problem worse”. I heard God clearly say, that I need to stop living in fear. I am not sure what the best way is to do that, but I do know that if God said it, He’ll do it. Fear keeps us from achieving our purpose and even worse often times the things we are afraid of aren’t even scary. This new journey has been hard, but the lessons while painful have been well worth the discomfort.