Category Archives: mother

Jan10

Day 10 of Random (hopefully inspired) Thought. Today I Am Thankful For…Sorrow

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Day 10 of Random (hopefully inspired) Thought. Today I Am Thankful For…Sorrow

Yesterday was a hard day for me, emotionally, to the point that I did not post on day 9. In 2024, my mom died suddenly, and even though it’s been almost two full years since her passing, the pain still feels like it happened yesterday. Yesterday was not a traumatic day by any means. Nothing that should have thrown me into the depths of pain and loss that I experienced; it was, from all accounts, a normal day, and as weird as this sounds, normal days are the hardest. Why? Because on normal days, I am more acutely aware that she’s not here. I can’t just walk into her room for a hug. She’s not here spontaneously singing at the top of her lungs, or saying words wrong and doubling down that her way is the correct way, and everyone else is wrong. On normal days, I simply miss her more.

There is no cut-off time for grief, and there is no proper way to handle it. We each experience it differently, and that’s how it’s meant to be. So, if you need to cry, cry, let grief wash over you, don’t run from it, don’t hide from it, and don’t ever say “I should be over this by now.” God promises to be close to us when our hearts are broken, when the pain we feel is so deep that there are no proper words to describe it.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18).

Here’s the truth, friends: grief is real, as are loss and pain; there is no getting away from them or pretending them away. So don’t hide or run from the hurt, let loss have its moment in your life, and the God who is acquainted with our sorrows will be by your side to walk you through the pain and pour out His love and peace and joy on you that no one and nothing will be able to take away. Just as He promised, “You have sorrow now, but I will give you joy again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” John 16:22.

So, what am I thankful for today? Sorrow that leads to joy.

Feb7

DAY 38 (2015)

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Forgiveness is like the sun reflecting on the water. It makes everything it touches sparkle.
(Picture by Lisa R. Everglades National Park)

Remember being a kid? Life was simpler, we didn’t worry about our choices, and there was always someone older and wiser to rub our backs and calm all our fears. We called that person mom, but really deep down we thought she was a super hero. In my family moms rule. The aunts out number the uncles by a lot. The Smith women are known for their strength, their resilience, and the eyes in back of their heads (I swear it’s true). Today I made a sad trip across the border so that my mom could spend sometime with another mom. Her sister. My Aunt is sick and doesn’t not have many days left. This moment has made me think about life, and how for most of our lives we somehow manage to take this one person (our super hero) for granted. Yet she still loves us unconditionally and still gives us the best if herself. I can’t imagine the pain my cousin is feeling right now, but I can clearly see her love demonstrated. She gives this love because she received it in unlimited abundance. She loves her mom, because her mom first loved her. Life is fragile it ends as quickly as it begins. And even if we live for a hundred years it feels like such a short period of time. Love those around you with unconditional abandon. Love them so that they can love others. Love them because you don’t know how long you have them for. Love them because you don’t want to miss a minute. Today I was reminded of God’s unconditional love as I watched my cousin lovingly and selflessly take care of her mom. The lesson: in this life we need to love and we need to share that love with others.
“We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

So what am I thankful for today? Love and family.

Oct10

Random (hopefully inspired) Thought

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I have hidden Thy word in my heart. (Picture by Lisa R)

I have hidden Thy word in my heart.
(Picture by Lisa R)

1 Samuel 1. “Now when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, with three bulls, one ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord in Shiloh. And the child was young. Then they slaughtered a bull, and brought the child to Eli. And she said, ‘O my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to the Lord.  For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.  Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.’ So they worshiped the Lord there” (Verses 24-28). I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for Hannah to give up the one thing she had always wanted, a child. She was married, loved, but her inability to give birth left her feeling incomplete. She prays and asks God to open her womb and He does, she makes a promise to give the child to God. Here’s the amazing part, she really does it. She keeps her promise. She gives her one and only son to the Lord. I have made promises to the Lord, way less traumatizing than this, and still have had trouble following through with what I promised. I have even been known to make compromises to the promise in order for the impact to be less stunning to me. Hannah, GAVE her child to God. She did not add an amendment to the promise, she didn’t say, “Okay Lord, lets wait till he is an adult.” She kept her promise and God blessed her. However the blessing did not just stop there it spread, to all of Israel and to us as well. How? Samuel appointed David to be king of Israel. David is the forefather of Jesus. Through whom our sins are forgiven. Obedience, the gift that keeps on giving. Strive to be a Hannah. 

Sep10

DAY 252 (2014)

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First and foremost to all those who left prayers for me due to yesterday’s post. THANK YOU!!!! Today I can honestly say I woke up with a completely different perspective. Today I wanted to tell you a story about God’s grace, about being used despite believing yourself unusable.

Bed of Blessing:

Give and it shall be giving to you... Picture by Lisa R.

Give and it shall be giving to you…
Picture by Lisa R.

In the course of our move from Florida to NY, my mom had to give up her bed. Why? Two reason: 1. Her mattress was giving her back pain. 2. We needed to minimize. So why not get rid of something that was causing her pain. Makes sense, no? When we settled in our new home, mom had a room, a bed frame, and a headboard, but no mattress. However, that was not the only issue we faced. We moved from a three bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment (although incredibly spacious, still an apartment), thus the bedrooms were considerable smaller. A king would not fit the space mom had. Moving without a job means you have to be conscious of every penny spent, the lack of a job means money will go out, but not come back in. I prayed about the most efficient way to fill mom’s need of sleeping accommodations. First thought get her a king mattress, sure she would have no space in her room (to move or breath), but at least she’d have a place to sleep. One day in my quiet time, I heard God clearly say, “Bless her”. Okay now let’s back track, by telling you a little about my mom. She’s the kind of person who would give you her last dime, if she genuinely believed it would help you. I watched her drain her retirement plan to make sure that my brother could graduate college. At a time when my father had a good paying job and could help, he kept saying that he would, but some how was NEVER able to (I am not angry with him, but not gonna lie it still hurts when I think about it). My great, great aunt died a couple years after my mom was laid off, and left her money. Instead of hoarding it and storing it up for her retirement, she used that money to pay off mine and my brother’s school debt. Are you seeing her pattern? So when God said, “Bless her.” I said, “Okay God, but…” (my brother and I have not reached her level of selflessness yet, but I hope to someday).But I have bills, but I have limited funds, but… God’s answer, “Bless her”, So obediently yet reluctantly I started to search for beds, and mattresses. We found what we wanted at SEARS. What is amazing is that we were able to purchase a top of the line mattress, and a beautiful bed frame, for less than it would have cost me to purchase one king size mattress! Blessing number one. Today my mom’s bed arrived. She was like a little kid. So excited. She kept saying, “Thank you Lord. Thank you for this blessing.” She kept thanking me for being generous. I can’t explain what it did to my heart to know I was able to give back to someone who has always without hesitation given to me. Blessing number two… PRICELESS. Then God reminded me that He blesses those who willing bless others. He reminded me that the call of the Christian, the follower of Christ is to give and not expect in return. Something my mom had done for years, and today God returned it to her, “A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over“.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:38).

Today’s Lesson: Be a blessing and you will be blessed… pressed down, shaken together, running over.

Jun21

DAY 170 (2014)

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This basically my mom's reaction... God loves to surprise His children, He's good like that.

This basically my mom’s reaction… God loves to surprise His children, He’s good like that.

My mom’s birthday is on Sunday. As my brother and I decided what to do for her, we came up with a GREAT idea. We’d surprise her with the one thing she wanted most: My brother to come visit. Everyday since he moved to Buffalo at least one time a day she’ll say these words, “I miss Jon.” Yesterday morning I woke up, told my mom I had to help my boss with something, but I’d be back to pick her up and take her out. At which point I headed to airport to get “my boss” (aka. baby brother). I retrieved him from the airport, made a quick Starbucks run (we were both coffee deprived), then headed home. When I got home I left my brother sitting in the car in the driveway. Went inside and asked my mom, to come help me get stuff out of the car. She walked through the garage toward the driveway, she had a quizzical look on her face. Then she noticed him and immediately started screaming for joy. She was so excited (still is), she started laughing, crying, and yelling all at the same time (I did not know that was even possible). Here’s the cool part: she couldn’t stop thanking God. Why is that the cool part?  She knew to whom the praise belonged. She did thank my brother and I for the surprise, but her praise was all toward God. She praised Him for providing my brother with the funds to travel. She thanked Him for my willingness to get up at an insane hour in the morning. She thanked Him for another year of life that she will get to begin with both her children around. There was not a thing that she did not praise Him for. I am blessed beyond measure to have this, godly woman, as my example in life. She has taught me that truly “EVERY good and perfect gift is from God.”

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17).

So what’s the plan? Know to whom the praise belongs.

Nov2

DAY 306

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Our fears will keep us bound, if we choose not to break free.

Our fears will keep us bound, if we choose not to break free.

My mom constantly amazes me. She has this personality that can overcome even the most traumatic of fears. In the last two weeks she has jumped two obstacles that in the past have been major hurdles in her life. One hurdle was overcome today. Almost two years ago my mom was laid off. During that time my brother and I stepped in to help take care of the person who had always taken care of us.  Recently she acquired a new job which she will be starting on Monday, the job is quite a distance from where we live now and while the drive is easy (one straight shot). My mom doesn’t like to drive long distances. Hence our looking for a new home. Yesterday my mom came and said, “I think I can do it. I think I can overcome this fear.” So this morning I went with her as she drove the route to her new job. She did a GREAT.  She showed no fear. What I realized is that we can overcome our fears. We DON”T have to be bound by them. My mom has overcome long distance driving, and a lizard crawling on her hand. She even on her own without fainting chased a lizard out of our house, that is a miracle (story for another day). Overcoming has given her confidence, strength and renewed faith. Today as we drove back home she reminded me of this: “He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”

” For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

So what am I thankful for today? Watching the person who taught me to overcome my fears, overcome theirs. PRICELESS.

Oct8

DAY 281

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Stay the course. Even when you hit a bump...stay the course. (Picture by Lisa R.)

Stay the course. Even when you hit a bump…stay the course.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

We are embarking on a new adventure. It’s a little risky and a little scary, but I know it is time to step out without fear, and in faith. Five years ago my mom went through a horrible divorce (emotionally horrible), and a year and half ago she lost her job (she was laid off). She went through a rough time, but she has come through it with grace (despite moments of discouragement and anger). I feel in my heart that it is her time to find her path, and realize her dream of owning her own business. She is nervous because of her age, and she is not sure she has the wherewithal to accomplish this goal. This is where my brother and I come in. Why? Because no matter what went on in mom’s life, my brother and I always came first, she sacrificed so much to help us have the opportunity to fulfill our dreams. I think it’s only right that we give her a chance to fulfill hers, before she no longer has the ability to do so. She is an excellent cook (and she’s Jamaican = YUM). So tomorrow we are doing a test run to see if people would be interested in buying her food. It would take too long to explain in detail how God provided the perfect opportunity for her to showcase her skill, but needless to say, He did. I am excited and scared, but all new journeys bring these feelings. Today I thought about the path we had to travel to get us to this point. I thought of the nights mom cried feeling like a burden (to my brother and I), and feeling lonely (because she expected to have a life partner). But then I remembered this: God is the restorer of lost things. He will restore the years the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25). We lost a lot to get to this moment on the journey, but looking back I see how we’ve grown, what we’ve gained. He is restoring it all back.

“The threshing floors will be full of grain, and the vats will overflow with the new wine and oil. Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:24-25).

So what am I thankful for today? Moments of restoration.

Aug17

DAY 229

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Sometimes doing what we don't like can be a win-win.

Sometimes doing what we don’t like can be a win-win.

Today was awesome I went shopping, if you know me, you know this NEVER happens. I am one of the few girls in the world that dislikes shopping (i really, really do). I go shopping for what I need. I usually know what I want and go for that and that alone. I don’t peruse. Today I was on a mission to get perfume, facial wipes, eyeliner, a pair of pants and a top. I listed the items because, I am so excited, I got every thing I wanted and spent under $25.00! Nope, I did not go to Walmart. Clothing from The Loft, and make-up from Ulta. Right about now you’re thinking, “will there be a point?” Why yes, there will be. Here it is: Sometimes even the things we don’t like can be enjoyable. I went shopping today because my mom likes it, it’s her way of spending time with me. As I got home and looked over my purchases it dawned on me, that I was very blessed to get everything I wanted, spend quality time with my mom, and not walk away broke. I had a an AMAZING day, doing something I don’t really like. We get so caught up in our likes and dislikes, and many times they become fences that box us in. Had I decided, I don’t like shopping, so I am not going. I would have missed out on a great day with the person who loves me most (second only to God). Here’s a little advise re-evaluate your “don’t like” list. It may be the open door you need to a great day with “the person that loves you most.”

” Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8, NIV).

So what am I thankful for today? New clothes, free perfume, and a happy mother.