Sick | JOURNEY OF THANKFULNESS

Forgiveness is like the sun reflecting on the water. It makes everything it touches sparkle.
(Picture by Lisa R. Everglades National Park)

Remember being a kid? Life was simpler, we didn’t worry about our choices, and there was always someone older and wiser to rub our backs and calm all our fears. We called that person mom, but really deep down we thought she was a super hero. In my family moms rule. The aunts out number the uncles by a lot. The Smith women are known for their strength, their resilience, and the eyes in back of their heads (I swear it’s true). Today I made a sad trip across the border so that my mom could spend sometime with another mom. Her sister. My Aunt is sick and doesn’t not have many days left. This moment has made me think about life, and how for most of our lives we somehow manage to take this one person (our super hero) for granted. Yet she still loves us unconditionally and still gives us the best if herself. I can’t imagine the pain my cousin is feeling right now, but I can clearly see her love demonstrated. She gives this love because she received it in unlimited abundance. She loves her mom, because her mom first loved her. Life is fragile it ends as quickly as it begins. And even if we live for a hundred years it feels like such a short period of time. Love those around you with unconditional abandon. Love them so that they can love others. Love them because you don’t know how long you have them for. Love them because you don’t want to miss a minute. Today I was reminded of God’s unconditional love as I watched my cousin lovingly and selflessly take care of her mom. The lesson: in this life we need to love and we need to share that love with others.
“We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

So what am I thankful for today? Love and family.

We can’t do it alone, we all need help on the journey.
(Picture taken at House Of Hope, S. Korea)

Today was a rough day emotionally. I know in the medical field you shouldn’t have favorites, but I have to admit there are some patients that feel more like family. One “family” member is in the hospital right now. The orders are to discharge to hospice (which for me usually means, they won’t be going home again). her family, understandably so, is dodging the hospice nurse. They aren’t ready, she’s not ready, I am not ready for that matter. After a visit which ’bout broke my heart. I started to wonder why I do this, why did I chose to work in a place that brings some much loss? Loss that even when I pretend it is fine, never is. About an hour after my visit with that “family” member. Another member of the family came in. Two years ago, she had the same discharge orders (hospice). She had cancer everywhere…brain, spine, and breast. She had to walk with a walker, she could not stand on her own and at one point she had such bad mental impairment she couldn’t complete sentences. Today she drove herself to the office visit, she was joking about her children, and she is thankful everyday for every single breath she breaths. As I was talking to her, that still voice reminded me…That right there is why I do this. Because while there is pain in this job, there is also HOPE. Hope is why I do this…everyday we fight, we give someone who may not have otherwise had it…HOPE.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12).

So what’s my plan of attack? Hold on to HOPE.