Cancer | JOURNEY OF THANKFULNESS

We can’t do it alone, we all need help on the journey.
(Picture taken at House Of Hope, S. Korea)

Today was a rough day emotionally. I know in the medical field you shouldn’t have favorites, but I have to admit there are some patients that feel more like family. One “family” member is in the hospital right now. The orders are to discharge to hospice (which for me usually means, they won’t be going home again). her family, understandably so, is dodging the hospice nurse. They aren’t ready, she’s not ready, I am not ready for that matter. After a visit which ’bout broke my heart. I started to wonder why I do this, why did I chose to work in a place that brings some much loss? Loss that even when I pretend it is fine, never is. About an hour after my visit with that “family” member. Another member of the family came in. Two years ago, she had the same discharge orders (hospice). She had cancer everywhere…brain, spine, and breast. She had to walk with a walker, she could not stand on her own and at one point she had such bad mental impairment she couldn’t complete sentences. Today she drove herself to the office visit, she was joking about her children, and she is thankful everyday for every single breath she breaths. As I was talking to her, that still voice reminded me…That right there is why I do this. Because while there is pain in this job, there is also HOPE. Hope is why I do this…everyday we fight, we give someone who may not have otherwise had it…HOPE.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12).

So what’s my plan of attack? Hold on to HOPE.

Every sunset says, “you get another chance tomorrow.”
(Photo by Lisa R.)

I haven’t been this happy to have it be Friday in a long time. This week has been long and busy. We have had a week of emotionally drained patients. I have had more people cry while sitting in front of me this week than I have in the five years I have been working at my job. Today however, I witnessed something that made me proud to work where I work. We had a new patient come in to hear result of her test. She heard the one word no-one ever wants to hear…CANCER. She came out overwhelmed and visibly shaken. Sitting with my coworker, she broke down. A patient that was sitting with me, excused herself got up and went over to comfort her. For the purposes of what I want to say we’ll call my patient Ms. A and my coworker’s patient Ms. B. When Ms. A first came to our office, you wouldn’t have know she was sick she was the vision of health. She was ready to fight with all her might. She wanted to see her kids grow up. Less than six months later however her prognosis took a turn for the worse. She couldn’t walk, she lost weight due to the fact that she could not keep food down. She spent more time in the hospital than her house, Why? Her cancer had spread, to almost everywhere. But she never lost hope, never came in defeated. She pushed through and listened to her doctors. It has been three years and if you didn’t know her story, you’d never know that she was sick almost to the point of death. After their encounter Ms. B left the office…no tears. Why? She knows that this is NOT a death sentence. She had seen proof. My week was rough, but I have learned from some of strongest people on the planet, that every day even the hard ones are a blessing and a gift from God. So instead of complaining, I’ll just be thankful.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

So what am I thankful for today? My journey of thankfulness and the coolest patients EVER.