Tag Archives: perspective

Jun14

DAY 164 (2014)

Posted on June 14, 2014 by lsgrlr

Our perspective determines our direction.

Okay so this is me asking for the opinion or insight of those of you who read this post. I have a situation and the best way I can figure out the direction is to look at it from all opposing angles. The problem however, is that in my limited view I only have one angle that I can see. So feel free to comment, tell me what you think (honestly). I really want to hear. In order for you to know what you need to give an opinion about I should tell you clearly what I am facing. I have made a decision to move, one that I am quite at peace with (or was, but still am…ahhh geesh!) I have decided to go back to school, I am planning on leaving our home in Florida and traveling to the coldest place on the planet (not really, but compared to Florida), Buffalo, New York. I have many good reasons, my brother is there, cost of living is lower, my mom will be with her two kids, and I function much better in a small town atmosphere. The school is pretty amazing too. What’s the downside you ask? Well as of right now I won’t have a job, this scares me a bit. I want to be able to take care of my mom and all my other responsibilities. I will be going with money that I have saved up, so I won’t be penniless, but that can only last for so long. My fear about staying is if I stay (because I am comfortable), then I will always be stuck here. My fear about going, we die or have to leave under a bridge (which is a problem because there are no bridges where we’ll be moving). To add more confusion, this morning my mom had this dream: “I dreamt we were in Jamaica going to visit my uncle, and I kept feeling I was going in the wrong direction and a girl (I didn’t know) was telling me the way to go. As we approached the area we saw all these men with guns. One of the men came up to me and said, ‘What are you doing here? You need to leave because we’re having a gun fight in thirty minutes.’ So I told you all we needed to leave, and thanked the man for keeping us safe.” My mom’s translation, “God will protect us.” My translation, “We’re heading into gun fire.” Both very apropos to the dream, but completely different perspectives. Our perspective determines how we approach a given situation. I want to approach this situation with the correct view.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:21).

So what’s my plan? Walk on the path God has prepared for me.

May1

DAY 121 (2014)

Posted on May 1, 2014 by lsgrlr

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“So when the pain comes in like rain from the parts of life that maintains its strain, I can put my trust in the hands that sustain. It’s profound that with all these sinking ships around me, He surrounds me and He anchors me with His grace abounding.”
-Anchor, by Beautiful Eulogy-

What. A. Day! My brain is throbbing, in facts it actually hurts my head when people talk to me. My poor mom just wants to relay the happenings of her day, but I don’t want to hear a sound, think a thought, or solve a problem. Not only was the day busy beyond imagination, but not one, but two of my favorite patients incurred devastating set backs in their treatment. I am so done today. The whole day I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel spinning and spinning, but going nowhere. I heard my names so many times today I actually contemplated changing it. Was there a full moon last night? Ever have days like that? The nature of my job, makes this type of day a frequent occurrence. On most days I am prepared and can handle it, today it just felt bigger than me. Then I remembered life is like that, there will be days when the situation, or circumstances will be bigger than us. That however, does not mean we are incapable or incompetent; it simply means we have something new to learn. Today on several occasions my mind went blank as I tried to find a solutions to the problems at hand. There were times I felt panicked, but God (ahhh, I love those words) stepped in calmed my nerves and reminded me that He is with me in the storm and while the waters may rage I would not drown because He is my boat and my anchor. There will be days when the water gets so high we will feel like we are about to be swallowed up, but remember this: GOD IS OUR BOAT AND OUR ANCHOR.

“He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed” (Psalm 107:29).

So what’s my plan? But GOD…

Apr23

DAY 113 (2014)

Posted on April 23, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Wait. Don’t complain. God has a purpose for the yield sign.

This officially is my “patients give me advice week”. Since the beginning of the week patients having been refreshing my soul and giving me bits of wisdom (instead of the other way around). Today’s encounter especially blessed my heart and so I have decided to share it. One of our originals had an office visit today (originals are patients that started with us when we first opened). For the sake of privacy we’ll call her Ms. S. When Ms. S first came to us her cancer was newly diagnosed. She went through chemotherapy with good response, had surgery and finished off with radiation. Scans showed a clean bill of health. Almost a year later she presented with a recurrence of cancer. She was devastated by the news. She had fought so hard and won, but now to have this happen… Today when she sat before me, it was like none of those days ever happened. They felt like a distant memory I had made up in my head. She smiled at me, gave me a hug and a kiss. Then said, “When are you going on the mission field?” I almost teared up (it’s a sore subject between God and I, the mission field). I replied, “God keeps telling me to wait.” I guess my face reflected more than I wanted it to, because she then said, “Don’t be angry and don’t rush God.” I looked at her and thought, she still sees God as good despite all she has gone through. She continued with, “He has a purpose for this. A reason why you are STILL here. Do you know, what it means after you hear you have cancer, to talk to someone like you? It is a blessing. You are a blessing, so don’t rush Him. He has a reason.” F L O O R E D!!!! (and humbled). I have been complaining to God, because it feels as though NOTHING is going my way. But today He literally shut me up. In the past week I have watched Him provide when I didn’t even ask (mostly because I had resigned myself to the idea of my needs not getting met). Each met need has been like a little spark igniting inside me reminding me that God moves. Today He not only moved, He spoke. He used the perfect voice too. The voice of someone who knows that God is good even if you get breast cancer, twice. Today the spark ignited into a fire.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

So what’s the plan? I am going to learn to wait, and as I wait I will fulfill the purpose for which I am waiting.

Apr22

DAY 112 (2014)

Posted on April 22, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Sometimes life feels like this…

Returning back to work after a day off, is like getting shocked by thirty thousand volts of electricity (okay maybe I exaggerate). I took one day off, but it felt like a month because I could not for the life of me get it together today. It was pretty humorous, at one point a patient was like, “You need me to do that for you?” When the copy machine decided to go on strike. Her question made me laugh out loud. I replied to her, “No, we’re have relationship issues that we’re working through.” I am not sure if it really was the day off that set my world on its head today. But here is a truth some days for no rhyme or reason our world can (and will) spin off its axis. Some days everything works according to plan, other days the bottom falls out and refuses to go back in. Despite my not-so-together day, I still manage to get an excellent compliment, “You always make it so easy to come here. You say the right thing at just the right time.” Wow! What a great thing to hear especially today, because although I spoke English words, none of my statement made sense to me. So to have someone say, that my words made them feel better was great way to set my day in perspective. The point? Some days we can feel disconnected, but that doesn’t mean we are. In the midst of how I was feeling, God was still using my words, using my sense of humor to make a difference, Today I was reminded that feeling can sometimes lie to us. We have to look past how we feel to see what is going on. Today my feelings told me I was disconnected, but a patient told me I made her feel connected. I think I am gonna listen to her.

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Proverbs 16:24).

So what’s the plan? Trust God, not my feelings.

Mar31

DAY 90 (2014)

Posted on March 31, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Just like unexpected snow in Spring. Life can throw us curve balls. When that happens we either take a swing or get hit.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

On Mondays I send out an email to my coworkers. I wrote today’s email after somewhat of a stressful weekend, where if it could go wrong, it did. But despite all the trauma I walked away realizing this. I am okay. Life is still moving forward. I still have the opportunity and the ability to reach for my goals. God is still on the throne and He loves me. All is well with my soul. The events of the weekend made me realize just how blessed we are to have the gift of free-will. It gives us the chance to choose our reactions. It gives us the ability to choose our perspective.

The last 48 hours have been somewhat of a comedy of errors. All designed to make today NOT a happy Monday. Want proof? I spent this weekend in New York with my brother. My flight back was on Sunday, however on Saturday it snowed ALL night long, waaaay into the early morning. All I could think was “oh noes, I have work on Monday”. My flight was delayed. However, the airline choose not to say anything till an hour after the boarding time had passed, at which point all passengers with connecting flights began to go into panic mode (I felt all kinds of sorry for the lone attendant). I did not make it to my house till 2 in the morning. That’s when I noticed. My car isn’t here. Why is my car not here? I had made arrangements with my family to pick it up (which was confirmed). When I questioned, the answer I received was, “Oh I must of misunderstood.” Excellent! Apparently, please pick up my car from work can have another meaning. This morning as I left my house two things dawned on me: 1) The keys to my home are in my drawer at work, 2.) I cannot lock my front door, 3.) I have no car how am I going to get to work? (Okay three things dawned on me). Do these events make this Monday any less good? No. Life doesn’t always go the way we want. I have every reason to be grumpy today (the door to my home is unlocked). However, I choose not to be. Why? My perspective determines my day. Today I choose to see these events as what they are: Just a part of the journey. Therefore, since our perspective determines our day, our week let’s make it AMAZING. Happy Monday!

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

So what’s my plan of attack? Choose to see things God’s way.

Mar25

DAY 84 (2014)

Posted on March 25, 2014 by lsgrlr

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If you’re in the dark and waiting. It’s not the dark that scares you, but the waiting.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

We are having a stress moment here. We can’t get in touch with my brother, which wouldn’t normally bother me. However, recent events have me a little nervous, coupled with the fact that not one, but both of my parents are worried. I am learning (right now) that the most horrible thing in the world is waiting. It’s one thing to wait, when you know what to expect. It’s a whole other ball game when you have no idea if anything bad has happened. Every scenario runs through your head and most of the time what comes to mind is the worse situation possible. I am watching my mom worry because she doesn’t know if her child is okay. My father (who we normally don’t talk to) has called several times. I am not a panic-er by nature, but hearing the concern in your parents voice has an effect on you. When I lived away from my family I use to be irritated when my parents worried about me. However, today I realized it is love, it’s sacrifice. Today while my brother may be upset. I pray he knows that all of it is because he is loved. Many people in the world don’t have that. Tonight I realized how blessed I am to know that God has put people in my world who are more concerned with my well being, than my anger at them. Oddly, for that I am extremely grateful.

“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” (Ephesians 4:26).

So what’s my plan attack? Learn to appreciate what I have been blessed with.

Mar11

AND I QUOTE…

Posted on March 11, 2014 by lsgrlr

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“I’ve found that the most well rounded people are those who have become successful later in their careers. They’ve been humbled by failure.
Therefore, don’t fear failure, let it teach you. Give all you’ve got and grow from the mistakes.”

– Andy Mineo –

Feb20

DAY 51 (2014)

Posted on February 20, 2014 by lsgrlr

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We make our plans, but God directs our path. Let Him be your journey’s guide.
(Picture by Lisa R.)

So my brother is hilarious. He is leaving for Buffalo in one week. He is worried about my mom and I, so he’s trying to get another person to live with us. Basically a renter to help with the portion of the rent he won’t be here for. The candidate? His coworker. She is Chinese and has the coolest personality ever. But this is not what my post is about. The past couple of days had been really emotional in my house. Nothing had changed, we weren’t mad at each other, but for some reason we have all been a little volatile. Today as his coworker came to look at her potential home, I realized why we have been so tense. We’re going to miss him and he is going to miss us. We have been trying to live as though the inevitable was not going to happen, but in the back of our minds we knew it was quickly approaching, CHANGE. Unspoken words will often demonstrate themselves through actions. I have to laugh, because pretending something is not going to happen won’t stop it from happening, (especially since he moves next Friday). But don’t we (humans) do that all the time? When something happens that’s opposite of our desire, we hide from it, ignore, and try to live as though it is not affecting us. This week I have seen first hand you can’t stop things that have to happen, just because you don’t want them to. Life is in constant flux, constant change and it is scary. However it is also beautiful. So next time change comes, let’s not run and hide. Instead let’s embrace and grow.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

So what’s my plan of attack? Even if it is scary embrace change.

Feb18

DAY 49 (2014)

Posted on February 18, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Don’t just see YOUR perspective. SEE the other PERSON’S as well.

This week has been long, and it’s only Tuesday! I feel like my emotional meter has skyrocketed past capacity. So many changes are happening all at once, and adapting feels akin to walking a tight rope. I have been realizing that on a whole we (human beings) don’t know how to communicate. We see only our point of view and have a hard time seeing the other’s person’s perspective because we are so sure we are right. Here’s a complication, what if both sides are right? What then, do we keeping pushing or do we take the time to find common ground? Pushing does nothing, but knock the other person down, leaving them feeling like their hard work amounts to nothing. But common ground gives us both something to build on, it produces soil that we each can sow into. When I read my Bible and look at things from God’s perspective I genuinely believe that is part of His plan for us. The goal of life is not to fight, fight, fight to prove we are the best. The Goal of life is to be aware of the people around us pouring into their lives and allowing them to pour into us, so we ALL can be the best versions of ourselves. Life is short and without even looking for it we will see the faults in others, we will misunderstand what is being said. We need to take the time to look past the faults, take the time to really hear the words…we need to stop looking at the surface and see the heart.

“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

So what’s my plan of attack? Stop fighting, starting looking deeper.

Jan30

DAY 30 (2014)

Posted on January 30, 2014 by lsgrlr

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Bend don’t break. It will give you new perspective.
(Picture by Jonathan E.)

There is a person at the center that I work for, who has been coming to see us for several years now. My encounter with said person always leaves me feeling, a little frustrated. Why? Because it is clear this person is not compliant in doing what is in his/her best interesting. Yet, if they want something, it must be given NOW. It’s for me almost like dealing with an unruly child. Right about now you’re thinking this whole post will be me ragging on someone with cancer. Well, you’re wrong. God knocked me down a couple notches today, and taught me the importance of not judging based on “my” perception…heck don’t judge at all. Today this person came for a check up, and as soon as I encountered them my prejudices affected my attitude (on the inside). However, at some point during our encounter my thought pattern went from: “This is how I see you” to “This is who you really are”. How did that happen? I listened. Simple, huh? After hearing their story I could see why this person found it hard to be complaint. I don’t agree with the choices being made, but I can understand and empathize. I saw life as they knew it and NOT as I assumed it to be. Perception is always 100%. However, that 100% could be (and most times is) a 100% wrong. We can’t view another person through the lens of “us”, we’ll see it wrong every time. What would this world look like if we ALL took the time to see and hear the other person’s perspective? If nothing else we’d have less misunderstandings, and maybe a little more compassion.

“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:17-18).

So what’s my plan of attack? Stop assuming my perception is correct.